In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize