It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
