She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
