Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
