So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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