OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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