i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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