Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
