I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
