Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
