NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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