Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
