Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
