Kiss
Puke
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
