Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
