If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
