I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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