my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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