doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
too bad you live with your parents still
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
is that a dick in a sweater?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
