why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
