Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I need a beard to bite.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
