Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
