Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
