Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I believe in your delicious
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
