I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
