ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
