I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
