Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize