is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I smell stomach acid.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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