I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
