Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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