I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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