idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
