i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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