At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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