hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
