Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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