I am in a vortex of obligation.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
