Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
