The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
