I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
