i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
