so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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