i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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