Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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