Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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