she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
