roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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