how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
