sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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