Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He better not be in your backpack
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
