White coat. Heels.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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