It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
