Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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