this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
