Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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