Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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