Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
