i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
