Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize