clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We smell like vodka and hangover
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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