Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
