we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
