There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
