mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
