Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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