that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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