last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
