I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
